Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
