is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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