So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
