But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
