bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I FOUND THE LEGS
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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