I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
