i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
