I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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