It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
