I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize