Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
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