After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
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