it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
