that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I skipped work to stalk him.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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