No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
