Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
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She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
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We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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