I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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