i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
No subtext here. People are naked.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
