Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
