I don't remember. Are we still dating?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
