my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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