he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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