i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
i just google imaged poop.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
