Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
That's when you crack a 10am beer
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
