Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
