Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
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