Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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