Michael Bay diarrhea
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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