You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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