I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
