Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
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