My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I skipped work to stalk him.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
