Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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