I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize