I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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