So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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