3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
