two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize