Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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