I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
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