last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
