dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
