Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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