also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
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