Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
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he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
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I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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