You're so nebulous sometimes
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
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She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
There r osticjed everywhere
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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