You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
