I can tuck mytits in my pants
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
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at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
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Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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