The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
