Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
