i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
