there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Randomize
