No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Randomize
