I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
i came on her dog
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Randomize
