I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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