If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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