Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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