Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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