You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
