yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
