I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
